Sri Lanka

The Sri Lankan Flag

After two arduous weeks of trekking in Nepal, followed by a week in the grime, dirt, poverty and mega hustle and bustle that is: North India; it all seemed to prove a little too much for some.

"Jerry", I was mutineed. "Take us to a beach or we're going back to Europe".

And so it happened that I was flying over the Indian ocean to an island formerly called Ceylon. This all came about as no easy feat.

One last look at India

The first problem was Michael. He would have to come back to Delhi for his flight, but only had a SINGLE ENTRY visa to India.

"Ah, don't worry about it", encouraged Mark. "Immigration wont have a clue".

After a few phonecalls to various embassies around the world, and Mark and I on his case; Micheal is finally comforted. He will attempt to re-enter India on his single entry.

Welcome in the tropics

The second problem was that very day there were shootings in the capital. The cease fire between the government and rebel Tamil Tigers had just ended.

Just when we'd found a crazily cheap flight on the internet, the girls (Lisa and Andrea) said they were no way stepping into a war zone!

To reconcile this problem, Michael bribed a guy in the hostel to tell the girls that he had just got back from there and not to believe the media hype. After bigging it up for over an hour he declared: - Sri Lanka was as safe as anywhere!!!

Two hours after touching down in Colombo airport a local guy ask us if we'd heard?

"Heard what?"

The TT had just blown up a bus of innocent men, women and children. More than 30 left dead.

"Don't let the girls know", I said.

Colombo's town hall and Buddha statue

We carefully tip-toed around Colombo's tourist sites, especially careful when around the Presidential palace, making sure we always had an escape hatched, not to get caught in any kind of crossfire.

Though Sri Lankans are predominantly Buddhist, there was a few thousand Muslims in town for a convention, which meant all the hotels in the city were full. We were forced to stay on the beach in Mount Lavinia.

Sunset beer on Lavinia beach

The train track ran along the beach full of people, not only in the carriages, but probably more people half-hanging off the high speed trains. What would seem deadly and dangerous to us - was a twice daily formailty to them!

Sunset FOOL on Lavinia beach

We made friends with the hotel owner who kept our big bags, so the 5 of us could squeeze into a rented car for an 8 day tour around the island. We had not even driven out of the car park, before a raging row breaks out between us all. "Who sits where. Who can talk to the driver. Who CAN'T talk to the driver" etc . I think most of the bickering was a mutual disliking to the RULES I had just composed! Of course, they were upheld nonetheless.

This turtle is so big it takes two to hold it up

Finally calmed, we set off for famous beach resort Hikkaduwa. Along the way was a turtle farm, made famous in a 1990 feature article in the National Geographic. The owner was a local guy who wanted to protect the baby turtles from savage dogs and poachers alike. A turtle egg can fetch a hefty sum on the black market these days.

This wasn't meant for you!!

Warning! warning! Deadly wave detected

The southern coastline was effected by the 2004 Tsunami. I would never have known unless I'd seen these new anti-tsunami detection devices.

Most of the next few days were spent, body surfing, playing beach volleyball and partying it up in the most happening place we'd come across between the Indian Ocean and the Himalayas.

But we had to make the most of the car so we plodded along.

Resting on a palm tree next to Buddha

Skirting along the south coast we come across an 80m statue of Buddha during a weekly ritual. Around the corner was a lighthouse - the islands' most southerly, and what we thought would be easy enough to find because it was written in bold on a map - A blow hole.

The southernmost point

We asked everyone in town, but no one seemed to know it, or it was 1, then 5, then 10km away. Finally, an irate Michael, winds down the window and screams at two passing innocent young girls: " BLOW HOLE". Mark has to pull away before we get arrested.

Drenched by a blow hole

Some guy we met told us to look up his hotel stashed away in the central mountain range somewhere near a town called Candy. When we got there we realised we were about to check into Honeymoon suites. So far we'd been spending a few dollars a night each. Maybe the guy could tell we were weary: "It's OK. We are friends. Very cheap"

That consoled most of them but I held my breath for the next three days. But sure enough, on checkout, he had only charged us 5 dollars a room. "Spread the word", he'd said.
The showers even had radio's in them for crying out loud. Pure Luxury!!!

Full moon at our Honeymoon mountain retreat

Everyday we ate like the locals. Rather, there were no fast food/hamburger restaurants anywhere to be seen. A favourite dish of ours was one where they chopped everything up so fast and loud, that the sound rang in your ear halfway through your meal.

A thrice daily snack - Samosa

Two hot and heavys get hot and heavy over a ginger beer

With the freedom of having our own wheels, each days activities included anything we saw on the map that looked of interest. We visited waterfalls, tea plantations, even went for a climb in the mountains.

Mark is too afraid to go under the waterfall. I try to reconcile!

No reason for this photo. Just thought Michael looked gorgeous!

On the way back from down the mountain known locally as "Little Sri Pada" we walked through a little village. At first we thought the kids there was telling us not to take fotos, they were in fact pointing out that we had decided to pose on a red ant hill. Mark writhed about in pain all the way home.

Mark summits the "Little" peak

Where is Mark?

Everynight in Candy, they do a special show for the tourists. A little dancing and singing, followed by two guys walking on red hot coals. Ouch. It is said that Buddhas tooth is kept inside a temple on the lake in Candy. I got to see the case where it was securely kept (even that only happens at certain times), but alas, to see the tooth itself, you have to come on the right day of the year.

Red hot fire walking

Buddha's Tooth

Me and two hot locals (one in body, the other in spirit)

Sri Lanka is famous the world over for its gemstones. To think that one minute we were all backpacking around on a tight budget (though I do concede from the comfort of an airconditioned self-chartered vehicle) the next: all buying gemstones. When I say all, I mean "they all". But I tricked Mark and Micheal into spending a couple thousand dollars between them, so the guy backhanded me my own little gem in appreciation.

Check out the different sized bags

Micheal and I loved it there so much that we extended our stay for another week. We beelined straight to Hikkaduwa for a week of beer and debauchery. Actually, neither of us scored once. It was "boys time" we kept pretending to ourselves.

Having a beer with some locals

Having a beer with Matt Damon

It was time to go home. Me back to the grime of Northern India, Micheal to Ireland. Or was he.

Micheal is the only dare devil hanging off this high speed train!

Going through immigration, I can't pretend I was surprised to see Micheal being dragged kicking and screaming into the office. We were there for three hours (me for moral support - my papers were in order). It went something like this:

"Maybe there is something we can work out", one minute. To: "We are deporting you on the next plane back to Colombo", the next.

We actually watched one poor crying lady being deported before our eyes. Her husband was waiting somewhere around the corner. "It's my job", the immigration officer tried to justify to a terrified Michael.

On his so called LAST CHANCE phone call to the highest officer in charge, the guy puts down the phone and shakes his head. Micheal jumps out of his chair and was going to start, AGAIN, screaming: "I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT GOING BACK TO FUXXING SRI LANKA. SHOOT ME. YOU CAN SHOOT ME!!!!,

When I step in and tell him: "No, no, no. Shaking the head is a good think in India. It means yes. You can stay!

Micheal tries to bribe his way back into the country: BAKSHEESH!!!