USA - Rockies

One of the seven wonders of man

My brother Jess lives two hours from Vegas, and lucky for me, rather than hitching through the desert, he was in the Gambling Capital for his wife Crystal's birthday. We pigged out at an all you eat buffet, so much so that I walked out hunch-backed, muttering like I do after every buffet: "Never again".

Concrete Heaven

Half an hour down the road is one the feats of engineering celebrated as one of man's greatest achievements. Hoover Damn. Powering a large percentage of bordering 3 States, it really is one scary thing to peer over the edge of.

Sister in law Crystal

The Colorado river continues on through the Damn after creating artificial lake Mead (which took 3 years to fill) then carving out the Grand Canyon before finishing up in the Gulf of California.

Those Damned Brothers

"A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

These words are from the second ammendment of the Constitution of the United States. Though written in 1789 and should be understood in the context of their time, I, like millions of other Americans was about to exercise MY constitutional rights, and shoot up the place; a place where guns are wicked easy to get your hands on. Welcome to the Wild West.

Average American Arsenal

It was thanksgiving, and what better way to start off the day than to shoot each other, first with paint, then get out the real guns and rifles and target practice some lemonade cans, furiously shaken up, for a full explosion sensation.

Scott loads the Rifles

Family friend Scott was the Lieutenant of the operation. In his car he carried around 3 rifles, a couple handguns and a grenade (one of those is a lie). All for sport though of course. The cans were placed hundreds of meters away, as I was about to learn, REAL bullets shoot REALLY far.

Shooting Cans

I manage to pop a couple of targets with the telesopic lens. It was impossible to maintain any kind of aim with the hanguns which almost fly out of my hand on every shot. What we see in the westerns with the cowboys - all that effortless shoot and draw stuff - it's a lie.

Dirty Jerry and his 45 Magnum

Dressed for a shoot-out in the Rockies

Thanksgiving Clan

The state of Utah, though notorious for being the breeding ground of Mormons, is in fact one of the most beautiful. Canyons and mountains, lakes and rivers. Part of the Rockies, here most of the rock is either a bright red or pink colour, made particularly astonishing during a sunset.

Zion's National Park Utah

In the time I had, I visited two National parks each as spectacular and wonderous as the other. Having girls on our entourage, the boys obviously have to disobey the signs saying DANGER OF PASSING THE FENCES, and venture out for these "danger pictures".

Boys being dangerous

It seemed like on every turn there were views of Canyons all equal to that of the splendour of the famous one further down in Arizona. These Canyons are in fact all part of the same plateau. On our way to the ski resort, we pass this view point lying casually on the side of the road.

Marta and Mark at Cedar Breaks Canyon

Cedar Break Brothers

A friend of a friend knew someone at the slopes, so we got our passes for free. Probably the reason I was skiing for the first time. It was fun doing Dumb and Dumber impressions on the ski lift, where I tried to convince everybody that my tongue was stuck to the railing. For a while there I think I understood the reason people get addicted to this kind of thing, the rush is quite immense.

First time Ski-ier

Another National Park, this one a few hours away, was made especially enjoyable as "Without a license me" was aloud to do some of the driving. That was until we passed a group of deer in the road.

Bryce Canyon Newlyweds

Moon-set over Bryce Canyon

Jess and me at Bryce Canyon

Rainbow bridge

The latest James Bond was playing in the Movie Theater (listen to me all American now) and a face off paper, scissors, stones with Mark saw the loser pay for all the treats and snacks. Guess who won.

Lucky, greedy, happy me

Coming up: Tales of the Caribbean

USA - West Coast

The first ever Starbucks was established in Seattle in 1971. I’m not really into conglomerate spending, but we found the original café (not green and white like all the others) and indulged in Orange Mocha Frappacinos. Michael was acting a bit grumpy and when I asked him what was up, he told he was “Sleepless in Seattle”. Idiot!

First Starbucks Established 1971 in Seattle

Two not-so-ordinary Consumers

Cruising around town, we encounter a group of hippies offering “free hugs” in the street. Before we knew what was happening Michael and I are roped in and giving the public a respite from their monotonous lives. Michael got 5 hugs, all from guys. Most people were freaked out.

You're too good to peopel of Seattle Michael.....You really are!

One middle-aged woman I overheard whilst hugging a colleage, said: “Thank you so much, you’ve kept me from doing it”, then wadded away with tears streaming down her face. I had goose bumps all the way up my body. WE had just saved a life.

So believe it or not, the few good things we all aspire to do in life, really do make a difference.

Seattle Space Needle

It was Michaels last night of his North American expeditions before returning to the grind (he is a miller), so he treated me to a 1^st class dinner and champagne in the Seattle Space Needle, with its revolving platform restaurant. Actually we tried to sneak up there for a free view of the city, got caught and to save face ACTUALLY went into the restaurant. Thanks Michael.

Me as a Goth!!!

With Michael gone, I was fortunate to make friends with an exotic dancer who said I could crash with her for as long as I liked. I stayed a week. Every night we went to Goth clubs, so temporarily, I became a Goth.

One night we went out for some midnight snacks and she took her pet ferret along on a leash. As you can imagine it startled a few people (they look after all like elongated rats), but one group of guys took a liking to it and started chatting with us. They asked us what we were doing the next evening, but before I could think of an excuse to get out of some weird animal orgy I was sure they would propose, they whipped out some Rolling Stones tickets. Before we could thank them they whacked out a handful more. “For you friends they said”.

Hendrix, Pearl Jam, Nirvana - all from Seattle

I didn’t even know the Stones were in town. Doubtful of their authenticity, we go the arena the next night to find out they are real, sell the other tickets for almost a hundred dollars (take my friends my ass), and are rocked by the biggest rock act on earth. After the concert, Lilo (her stage name, she wouldn’t let me call her Angela in case clients overheard) said I could keep the money, saying she earned 500 dollars that day. But I said we should share it so we made an evening out of it: taxis, drinks, dinner etc.

Lilo, the ferret, the free Stones tickets and the cash

From one grunge and happening west coast city to another, I say goodbye to Lilo and take the greyhound to Portland. Here I would hook up with a friend I met in Central America, Tino.

Mount Ranier from the Rose Garden Portland Or.

Only a couple days ago he had been fired from his bar work, immediately after being made “Employee of the year”. He was caught taking shots with the customers. But he had a voucher for him and another person to eat at his restaurant, which was ordinarily very expensive.

So we made an appearance much to the dismay of the boss, and “steaked out”. Even the tip would have cost 20 dollars, but luckily his friend was the waiter!

Tino steaking out

Tino had 20 dollars to his name and the rent man was knocking. But all this pressure on him somehow made him not have a care in the world and so for 3 days we enjoyed living like homeless bums, playing music in bars, drinking from the second we awoke (late in the afternoon of course) and basically painting the town red. I was sorry to ditch him so low a point in his life, but I wanted to get to my aunties in southern Oregon for Halloween.

Auntie Mary and cousin Mark

It took me so long to cross the state that in the end I spent Halloween in famous hippy town Eugene. I accidentally went to a thrash metal concert, and for the first time in my life, for no reason at all, a girl bought me drink. An hour later the same thing happened, only this time it was two girls. Ah Eugene!!!
I hadn’t seen my auntie or cousins since I was 7 or 8. I barely remembered them, but they welcomed me with open arms. I stayed for a few days, learnt some juicy family secrets, stuffed my face every day (you know how aunties are) and left the state a good few kilos heavier.

San Francisco Bay - Alcatraz
Welcome to Alcatraz

Next stop San Francisco. I had been here 4 years earlier directly after losing all my money to the casinos in Nevada. I had called home and begged dad for some funds and received enough to get me to my flight in LAX. So this time (being so much wiser) I had to go to Alcatraz.

Locked up, just like Alphonse Capone

They really let you roam free around the former prison island. An ex inmate (an Australian caught robbing a bank) was there signing autographs for his new autobiographic release.

Bank Robber sent to Notorious Alcatraz

My good friend Ponch who was living in one of the Frisco hills leant me his bike to explore places like the “Crookedest street in the world” and go across the Golden Gate Bridge (the most photographed in the world) and basically bust my chops cycling in this anti-Amsterdam terrain. If you remember the car chase scenes in the Dirty Harry movies, then you will know how up and down and up and down the whole city is.

Steep Frisco hills, San Fran trolley and Alcatraz in distance

Believe it or not im holding the camera for this one

Half way across the bridge I come across this sign. It's said that 7 people a year jump off the Golden Gate Bridge (so called because of the national park it is next to - in case you were wondering why it wasn't called the rusty iron bridge, or rather: isn't painted gold). If the fall itself doesnt get you, the freezing, rapid waters will. Good luck!

Basically - You WILL die

To get to my brothers in Utah for thanksgiving, I had to change greyhounds in Los Angeles, a city with over 100,000 homeless people. It takes more than 24 hours to even count (non-stop) to that figure, trust me, I've tried it. It is an unfathomable amount.

One of MANY

Next up: Thanksgiving in the Rockies (with lots of shooting)

CALIFORNIA - THE GOLDEN STATE