Peru

Arriving overland from Ecuador, surf town Huanchaco would be one of my first stops. The native surfers here, in fact doubled as fisherman. They go out on their reed boats called “totora’s”, surfing back with their catch as they have been for over 2500 years.

The nearby Chan Chan ruins form what was once pre-Colombia’s largest city in the Americas and the largest mud-brick city in the world. (I didn’t know that when I was there, as I was too tight to pay the 1 dollar for a guide; I’m just reading it up now, in the pretense of appearing factual to you all). Peru is just full of hidden gems and surprises.

Chan-Chan

There can be no greater contrast in human conditions, than the northern slums of Lima, and upmarket Miraflores. On one side, the shacks built of clay are literally perched on the edges of cliffs (step into your garden and you fall a few hundred feet into the river and to your death); Miraflores is seaming with 5 star hotels and boulevards lined with boutiques.

In all fairness, Peru’s capital is not a place where tourists hang around. A quick visit to the old town main square and I was readying for the next adventure. Plaza de las Armas emerged to be my favourite square of the continent yet.

Lima main square

On a German motor way, Lima to Cuzco would take 2 hours. Here in the high Peruvian Andes, where roads are treacherous and buses plunging off mountains, where young drivers badly calculate bends or fall asleep behind the wheel are common place tales; the journey takes 24 hours.

On a mission of doing the whole continent by land and river, (ie no flights), and with Gina meeting me in Cuzco in a couple days, there was only time to do either: the Nazca Lines; or the Condor Canyon. I went for the "ALIEN SPECTACLE".

Boarding the Nazca Cessna

I may well be the least grateful person on Earth. I fully enjoyed the 40 minute flight in my four-seater Cessna over the Nazca Lines; seeing the monkey, the spider, the hummingbird etc. But I remain sceptic as too its true marvel. It’s definitely not alien, and I wouldn’t be surprised if even a relatively modern human conception. Maria Reiche (long time researcher of the lines) would kill me for saying that.

The Astronaut (Above - The Spider)

Flying at 7000 feet, you can still thoroughly enjoy the gigantic figures: 130m condor wingspan,The Hummingbird

90m monkey tail and my favourite, the astronaut in the mountain. The best bit, all at a measly cost of 30 dollars. Possibly the cheapest major tourist attraction in the world. Let’s see what happens over the next five years. If the lines and figures aren’t enough, the landscape is awe-inspiring. One guy I later met, said he was so dazzled by the scenery he forgot about the lines. Hmm? The spectacular landscape

Always a risk, eating fish in the town’s cheapest restaurant. No more so, than before a 17 hour non-stop bus journey with a broken toilet. I’ll let you imagine the rest.

Inca street

3 kilos lighter, I descend upon the archeological capital of the Americas. Cuzco. I thought this was just a stopping point before heading to the nearby “real” reason everybody comes here. But Cuzco has the charm and historical beauty to rival anywhere I’d been. It wasn’t without it’s own ruins either. On the hill above the city lay Sacsayhuaman, scene of one of the bitterest battles between the Spanish and the Manco Inca. At least I think that’s what the guide was saying. He was talking in Quechuan, the local ancient language.

Incans

The Incas are famous for fitting stones together with no other joining agent than the stones themselves. That is to say, that the stones are piled atop each other in such painstaking precision, that they hold firm together as if by cement or other form of glue. It is even said, that you can’t fit a needle through the joins. (Or am I confusing the biblical needle through the camel or something). Well they’re solid and a tourist attraction in any case.

13 sides

If it has more than 4 sides, this supposedly makes it more impressive, as it would have taken that much longer to size them up with their partnering stones. One even had 13 sides, though I'm sure it's actually 14.

The train to Aguas Calientes from Cuzco is a rip-off. The alternative: a horseback tour through 3 major ruins, a bus ride through the majestic Sacred Valley; a visit to yet another spectacular ruin - Ollantaytambo; and a separate train that would also take us to the town that is indigenous to tourism.

Sacred valley

The splendour that is Aguas Calientes, could only be fully realised in the morning as we’d arrived late at night. Nestled between towering mountains, we were about to embark on what many people see as the only reason to come to Peru, further more, South America

Macho Me

We were a 20 minute bus ride from MACHU PICHU. Originally we’d planned to do the 1 hour climb up to the ruins, but adverse weather saw the justification of an extortionate bus ride. The weather continued to dampen our spirit, even when witnessing one of man’s greatest earthly achievements. Eventually the sun came out and we enjoyed the afternoon exploring a lost civilization. More I cannot say about this place, other than it is no cliche; it is every centimeter as amazing as it’s souped up to be.

Me, Machu and a Llama

Me, Machu and a Gina

About a year ago, I’d asked someone to translate the title of the Simon and Garfunkel song: El Condor Pase. They answered: “The condor flies”.
“Yeah”, I replied, “But what is a condor”.

Now I was on my way to the Colca Canyon more importantly: The valley of the Condors. I was on my way to finding out exaclty what the word meant.

The second you get of the bus which drops you off at the "Mirador del Condor", you are descended upon by a pack of wolves. Ticket agents, claiming I had to pay for the right to stand on this part of the mountain. A farce, surely. I refused to pay, so they chased me round for half an hour, I almost made one cry and there were countless police threats before we came to a compromise. I would pay the national fee, as if I was a Peruvian and is always a million times cheaper. The way I saw it, I got a really cool ticket to keep in my book of momentoes.

Mach Pichu

Most people arrive at this lookout around 10 or 11 am in the bus loads. A guide had once stated the best times for a viewing are early in the mornig, or late in the afternoon. I chose to arrive before the hoards and was there in almost solitude for the first 3 hours.

The tourists came in their mini-vans, of course I arrived by chicken bus, and nonone put up a fight with these ticket guys. I guess thats why they get away with it. The majority are suckers.

Most of these guided hopefuls, were only afforded 1 maybe 2 hours by their bored and impatient drivers, for a chance of spotting a Condor.

None came. They all left, maybe 200 people, and then there was just me and a handful of other budget travellers waiting for the last local bus out at 1pm. It was almost time and still no sighting. For a moment a large bird flew above our heads, but the thrill came to a sudden halt when a local guide yawned that it was merely a large eagle.

As the bus was winding its way towards us around the mountain, I made a crazy decision. I was in the middle of this colca canyon (the worlds deepest at 3800m), a three hour walk in any direction from civilization. There was no food or water in sight, and a factor that later hit me, no shade from the sun. But I came all the way back from Bolivia, specifically, to see a bloody Condor. I would have to starve it out and wait for the late afternoon (the next best chance for a sighting). At 1pm I was the only human in any 10km direction.

I managed to maintain my sanity by inventing games with stones. The heat was sweltering, and I was feeble from thirst and hunger and sunburn. But there was a higher purpose. I was going to see a Condor.

Only in Peru

No I wasn't. After 10 hours of waiting I saw a car approaching and rushed to the main road and luckily got a lift back to Cabanaconde. At least I was spared an exhaustive hike.

The next morning I would pass this Mirador again on my way back to Bolivia, so I could allow myself a final two hour slot for another chance.

No luck. I slumped back onto the bus depleted and resigned. I couldnt get the number 12 out of my head, as that was the ridiculous amount of hours I'd just wasted in my life. Oh, I did get to see a Hummingbird. Ironic. I'm there to see one of the world's biggest and God affords me the smallest.Worlds Smallest - Amidst the Biggest: Hummingbird

Whilst leaving the Canyon I look back out the bus window and mutter something about no longer believing in the creature.

I'm just dozing away, when two french people I'd met and shared my ordeal with are shouting: "Jerry, Jerry, look out the left window."

There were two Condors circling the bus

CONDOR (YIPHEEEEE)

Ecuador

Note: Most of the following content may be familiar to you; I apologize for being repetetive, it's just that now with Blog, I feel compelled to reshare the story with the accompaniment of photographs

To work out how long it takes to get from A to B on a map, I use my finger to measure up the scale, then the distance. I divide that figure by a reasonable 100kph.
Well, things don’t quite work that way in the Andes. The predicted 1 hour trip from the Colombian border to Quito, would take more than 5 hours. We had to break the journey down and stay in a town called Ibarra.

A Swedish guy on our bus was also going to Ibarra.Turns out my new friend was quite the adventurer.
Among being amazed by his tale of the Himalayas, I was equally surprised to learn that military service is mandatory in Sweden. Do they even have an army?

On that note of surprising European facts: would you believe Spain only abolished its death penalty in 1995. I was 15. The European Union for crying out loud. And this is well after Franco.

At 18, Eric realised that if he was to "waste" a year of his life in the army, he may as well make it worthwhile. He signed up for toughest of the tough. Arctic Ranger.
The countless nights out in the freezing, dark cold he plotted and schemed. When his service time was up he was going to do put his endurance skills to the test. Him and a fellow ranger went on the net to see what they could get up to in Nepal. They came across a Swedish Biker’s page who had cycled 1000km across the Himalayas from Tibet to Kathmandu. They set up a meeting.

The guy told them there were life or death complications involved, and not just from lack of oxygen, water, fatigue or getting lost. It was illegal to be in Tibet unless in a group and with a guide. And no guide, let alone group, would brave the 1000km journey they now had their hearts set on completing by foot.

If you manage to get into Tibet, the guy continued, there is the problem of getting past the Chinese checkpoints. If you are spotted, you WILL be a shoot to kill target. Simple as that.
The only resolve, they had the guy marked out the checkpoints on a map. They would have to use their army skills to sneak past them.

And so they got their sponsors, their parents worried as hell and at 19 years of age flew from Stockholm to the rooftop of the world. Sure enough they were arrested in Tibet, though more of a house arrest until the next flight would take them back to Nepal. They escaped and authorities well behind them began their one month voyage with two maps and a GPS.

They managed to sneak around the checkpoints at night. All those combat training sessions in the arctic circle had paid off.
Along the trail they skirted mount Everest and spent a night in the base camp. Here they met all the world professional climbers who were either on their way up or down Everest. Being professionals, they could tell just looking at these Swedes and their packs, that they were not climbers, merely "base camp tourists", (probably arrived by cable car or something).

When the camp found out what they were really up to they couldn’t believe it. The bravest men on Earth were looking at these two 19 year olds in awe. The teenagers were the heroes of the camp that night, not the guy who just came back with a Polaroid of him on the summit without an oxygen tank.

And there was me thinking I was on an adventure. What a copout I am. The next day I told Peter. He jumped out of bed, we went across to Eric’s room, and Peter told him to mark on a napkin where the Chinese checkpoints were.

(Virgin on the hill)

We were excited about arriving in Quito, somewhere we read that it had one of South Americas’s best Old Towns. We knew we’s arrived when we saw the big Virgin on the hill.
We weren’t disappointed, the old town was packed with colonial architecture. Without a guide or a map we wondered the cobbled streets inventing names for the squares and functions for the grand buildings.

(Old Town Quito)

The thing I was most excited about however was paying a visit to a very special museum.
Mitad del Mundo. The museum on the equator.
Everyone is taking their picture with one foot either side of the clearly marked YELLOW line coming from a monument, so they can show all the folk back home that they have stood simultaneously in both the northern and southern hemisphere.

(On the fake line)

Somehow we got wind of a few tricks that can be performed only on the equator. Something about balancing an egg on a nail? We were directed back to the entrance, and told to turn right for 100m and follow the signs to anther museum.

(Balancing an EGG on a nail)

Arriving onsite we notice another painted line running the length of this museum. Only this time the line was RED. Looking across the way, we could easily tell that the YELLOW and RED lines did not meet up.
Someone had to be lying and it had to be this out of the way, run down place.
"We are the true line", our new guide suddenly declares to us. "Allow me to prove it".

First off he explained that with modern day GPS there could be no doubt as to the location (even to one millimetre) of the line. The complex over the road, he continues, has been established since the French founded the line (or at least thought they had) back in the 17 hundreds. Though let us admit it: they did get pretty damned close!

(Simultaneously in both Hemispheres)

Our tour guide brings us to a ready made portable sink. It's full of water, and there is a bucket underneath it. She takes us to a meter or so away from the RED line, onto a spot appropriately marked: NORTHERN HEMISPHERE. She calms the water with her hand, then opens up the plug hole, and we all witness the water going down the hole in a CLOCKWISE motion. She drops in a couple of small leaves to accentuate the whirlpool motion.
SO WHAT. We've all seen this before. Everyday back home.

Next she moves the whole operation to one meter the other side of the line onto a spot naturally marked: SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE.
Amazingly the water, again exaggerated by the help of leaves, exits the plug hole in a counter clockwise motion.
WHAT THE HELL. We'd just seen the exact opposite happen, as many minutes and meters ago.
That’s not all iterates the guide - watch this

(Peter simultaneously in both Hemispheres)

She then proceeds to move the sink and the bucket, placing it exactly over the line, so that the middle of the sink, the plughole, is in perfect alignment to the RED line. And it really happened.
The water went straight down the plughole. No mini whirlpool, no give from the leaf. Straight out.
The distance between the north and the south pole is some 20 000km, but the water goes straight down within the space of a single centimetre. And I can confirm it all happens within 1cm, even though the guides experiments were at a couple metres apart, I later went back and carried out my own experiments.

Surely this is the most amazing fact of life!!!!

(Mount Cotopaxi)

Back in England, Thaufik an Ecuadorian friend of mine, had given me a Cotopaxi T-Shirt. At just under 6000m it is one of the Earths tallest volcanos. A mere two hour trip from Quito, we made enquiries about visiting the national park. There were two types of visits. A day trip taking you as far up as 4850, which allowing you to see the beginning of the Glacier, also rings the novelty of being higher than anywhere in Europe.

(Higher than all of Europe)

The second, an overnight stay in the base camp, with a midnight scaling of the mountain, using crampons and ice-pick, bringing you to the freezing summit around 5-6am for the sunrise. A collection of reasons meant we could only do the day trip. To this day, still one of Peter’s greatest regrets.

(Me on the glacier)

At least we opted for the bicycle descent of Cotopaxi. We went so fast, we left our 4X4 a speck in the distance. We went so fast, you couldn’t avoid the rocks in the road, you simply had to ride them. We went so fast, that Peter once went clear flying off his bike. Though he appeared to have broken his leg, I couldn’t contain my laughter. Luckily he was ok.

(Peter on the Glacier)

With Peter flying back to Europe, I hooked up with Thaufik

(Thaufik)

He gave me a driving tour of the city, giving me the full perspective of this wondrous land of mountains. So far South America was one big mountain to me. (Chimborazo)

Next I was off to Peru. More mountains. And leaving Ecuador I passed its highest peak Chimborazo, among various other erupting volcanos.

(Errupting Volcanoes)